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They desperately want more time together with their dad and husband, James. While he still somehow manages to continue to go to work every day to support his family, he is losing this battle. Even his quick wit and amazing sense of humor are beginning to fade. His liver disease has reached a critical level and he now needs a transplant. With only 15-20% liver function, his time is running out with his girls. After two exhausting reviews he is on a transplant list at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix, Arizona. This means he needs to relocate temporarily to Arizona to have any hope of getting help. The costs for this procedure are astronomical. While James is fortunate to have medical insurance it is not enough. James and Jodi are relocating to Phoenix in early April, in the hopes of getting this life saving transplant. Everything from rent, transportation, living expenses and out of pocket medical cost are not covered for the months they will be gone. In addition their two beautiful young daughters will need to remain behind in Washington. Josie and Katie need their parents back as soon as possible and healthy. So many people say, “What can I do to help?” Donating to this fund to help give this family more time with one another is one way to contribute. Please consider donating to this fund to give this family more time together.
Family and friends of James Finley are raising money for the nonprofit Help Hope Live to fund uninsured medical expenses associated with transplantation.
James has chosen to fundraise for Help Hope Live in part because Help Hope Live assures fiscal accountability of funds raised and tax deductibility to the full extent allowed by law for contributors. Contributors can be sure donations will be used to pay or reimburse medical and related expenses. To make a tax-deductible donation to this fundraising campaign, click on the Give button.
For more information, please contact Help Hope Live at 800.642.8399.
Thank you for your support!
Team Finley Update
We've been home for over four weeks now and we've been settling back into our regular lives. People often ask if it's been a difficult transition or if it feels odd to be back or if we miss Scottsdale. The transition hasn't been too difficult at all, James is working full time from home for the next few weeks and the girls and I love having him close. I frequently find one of the girls sitting near his workspace reading or playing quietly. I think they just like being close to him. The girls and I have been on a bit of a spring cleaning/decluttering spree. We also enjoyed a couple of weekends watching our nephews play little league allstars (and we seriously LOVE it!). It's SO good to see Uncle James back in full form, able to enjoy our nephews and crack his 12 year old jokes. We miss the fantastic restaurants around Phoenix and all of our friends at the Mayo, especially the weekly support group. We just found out that not one but TWO of our fellow group members finally recieved their transplants. YAY! It's crazy how much relief and joy we felt for them. It brought tears to both of our eyes.
James is doing really well both physically and mentally. His liver function is pretty much perfect and his endurance and strength improve daily. I notice the most improvement in his personality, he has regained his goofy, hilarious sense of humor. The other day the girls and I wanted him to just hang out with us as we cleaned out their closet, just for the comic relief. He didn't disappoint. He has said he feels like all his senses are clearer, things look brighter, smell stronger, etc.
We talk almost daily about the amazing miracle that took place in Arizona and back home over the past few months. I've been thinking more about the donor's family and what we will say to them in our letter. I'll truly never forget sitting alone in the Mayo waiting room, hoping and praying that the organ would be viable, that James was healthy enough to receive it, and that the family would agree to donate. I remember thinking that there was another family sitting in another room in a hospital across the state or the country preparing to say goodbye. And making the decision to use his or her organs to save the lives of others. It's a tricky thing to hope for, one shrouded in guilt and doubt of our worthiness. But I can honestly say I have never forgotten their gift or their undoubtedly devastating loss.
We talk often about some of the unforeseen "gifts" we've received due to James's health and our situation these past few moths. Aside from the amazing help and support for Team Finley and the life-saving gift of life from the donor, we've also benefited from other less obvious bonuses. One is a new perspective on our lives. When our car unexpectedly breaks down we can look at that situation and see the seriousness of it, but take comfort in the knowledge that it's not life or death. James and I look at each other and kind of jokingly say, "Hey, no one is going to die". We also have a renewed joy and love for our family and friends and each other. It's pretty great actually. Another gift has been to see and hear how James's story has impacted others. Even more to hear how others have noticed and remarked about James's strength and character. I'm going to share an email he received from a technician, Melissa, at the lab where he got his weekly paracentesis. We stopped by to see Melissa after a checkup, and we were disappointed when she wasn't there.
"Hi James,
The receptionist told me you stopped by today and asked for me, and I started to tear up because I knew that meant you got your new liver :-) Oh my God, FINALLY! I am SO happy for you!! You went through hell waiting for that thing. To this day you are still the only paracentesis patient I’ve ever had who was still working a job despite your disease. You never gave up even though I could tell you felt like crap. You worked so hard for your family and your future, and I’m so happy you get this second chance! I’m glad you get to be back home with your girls! Thank you for thinking of me. Rock on! :-)
-Melissa"
We were both touched, though he was more shocked than I was. I knew how hard he worked and how much he struggled just do basic things. I think it was pretty validating for him to hear that, and I'm just about the proudest wife alive.
Thank you all again. And again. Our cup runneth over.
#TeamFinley
WARNING: SUPER LONG POST!
A little trip down memory lane...
I was staring at Dr. Delich's crocs when he told us. I swear he has a pair of those rubber croc sandals to match every pair of his corduroy pants. It's kinda funny those little details you remember when really big moments happen.
It was January 2018, just 6 short months ago, when we sat in Dr. Delich's small exam room on the 7th floor of the Doctors Building in Sacred Heart. They told us that James's blood type and portal hypertension would make his time spent waiting on the Swedish list longer than originally anticipated.
I remember looking at Amy, the transplant coordinator, and I saw an unknown emotion cross her face. Sorrow or helplessness or was it conspiratorial hope? She glanced at Dr. Delich and said hurriedly, "You could always go to the Mayo clinic in Arizona." Delich, in his cutesy, nutty professor way nodded and said in his casual way, "Oh yeah! You could always do that."
He started looking something up on his computer and Amy glanced at him quickly before telling us about a patient who had a similar story to James and had gone down to the Mayo and received a replacement liver in just a few weeks. We were shocked. Our hope with Swedish was 18+ months, and every day seemed to get more and more difficult for James.
Somehow over the next few weeks, we got in touch with the Mayo and they told us that our best chances would be to relocate. Even now to say the word,"relocate" makes me a little nauseous. I thought James was kidding when he brought the idea to me. Relocate? Ha! Yeah, right. How the hell would we do that? I agreed to go to Arizona for the week long evaluation process, but I was not entertaining the idea of moving down to Phoenix.
The evaluation was intense, but we were both impressed by their program and staff. The team seemed eager to list James and assured us that his case would be a simple one for them. They also explained in detail how they were able to perform so many more transplants than other regions. Their surgeons are like artists who are extremely well trained and experienced in matching the perfect donor to the perfect recipient. It is this experience and skill that allow them to take organs other more hesitant regions pass over. We were at the end of the evaluation process when our social worker, Raeann, reiterated that our best hope was to relocate. She dropped another completely unexpected bomb: we could not have Josie and Katie with us. They wanted James's primary caregiver (me) to be only in charge of him.
In my mind, the whole thing was off the table. I distinctly remember thinking: "Well, we tried, but no way. Nope." I thought we'd go back home to Spokane and put our faith in good ol' Swedish.
James had a different opinion. I honestly cannot think of one time in our relationship where he asked me for something. He has always been the one to give, to whatever make happen for me. This time he asked. He said to me, "I feel like this is my best chance to live." I literally felt sick at the thought of leaving our babies, our home, our families, our dog...and for how long? So many questions rattled around in my overwhelmed head. I vented these fears and concerns to a few very dear friends and one friend ("friend" is not even a close to being an adequate word) stepped up in a way I had not imagined. She and her husband offered to take the girls for us. When I mentioned their offer to James I saw him look hopeful for the first time in months. On our last day in Phoenix after the evaluation, we drove around in the warm desert, surrounded by cacti and palm trees and I was overcome by a panicked anxiety. I knew, I just *knew* that we would be back here and that we would not have our girls with us.
My heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest at the thought of leaving them. I remember looking out the rental car window, tears streaming down my face, and thinking "I've got to get my shit together before I hyperventilate and scare everyone." We flew home later that evening and the plans started to formulate. Who would take care of the girls, who would take Lou, who would watch our house, where would we live, what would we drive, etc.
Every time a new stumbling block came around we had AMAZING people on our team helping us, offering support, showing up in unbelievable ways. And those people just kept showing up, again and again. And James and I learned together we could do really hard things, one thing at a time. Who would've guessed we would meet so many phenomenal people along the way. Remember the patient I mentioned who made the Mayo journey just a few weeks before us? The one from Spokane who essentially inspired us to come down here? We met him in our weekly support group and became friends with him and his wife. I believe they will be lifelong friends and Monte's friendship to James throughout this process has been absolutely lifesaving.
Tomorrow we leave for home. We will finish packing up today and fly home. We are excited and in awe of the miracles and all the things and people who had to come together to make this journey possible. We are humbled and speechless by the love and support we've received. Never underestimate the power of a simple phone call or text or even Facebook comment. We are grateful. We are blessed.
We'll see you soon.
"Just do The Next Right Thing, one thing at a time. That'll take you all the way Home."
~Glennon Doyle Melton
Jodi Finley is in Paradise Valley, Arizona.
1 min · Instagram ·
"So tie up the boat, take off your coat, and take a look around.
'Cause the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again
You hold tight to your umbrella
Well, darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head"
What a remarkable journey this has been. We've been here in Arizona for 77 days. Forty of those were spent waiting for the call that a donor liver was available. James has been post transplant for 37 days. When I think about that, seventy-seven days just does not seem like that long. And yet, it feels like a whole lifetime has come and gone. We both feel different, stronger, more resilient, but perhaps more anxious, too.
James continues to feel better each day, gaining more strength and endurance. He battles through some side effects of his anti-rejection meds and handles my nagging him to eat like a champ. (At a whopping 133lbs, he needs to eat!) He's getting his sense of humor back and has me laughing every day. His liver enzymes look great and we are reassured by his team that he got a really good liver. His only complaint is missing Josie and Katie, but good news - they arrive here TOMORROW!!!! He hasn't seen them in six long weeks...much too long for a daddies and little girls to be separated.
James and I talk every day about our gratitude and the miraculous gift of organ donation. We don't know much about the donor, just that he or she died in a trauma, but we think about him or her daily and we will soon draft a letter for the donor family. Much of our gratitude is for all of you and your constant love, support, and encouragement. We have been surrounded by the very best people and Team Finley would not be possible with some key players. We are so blessed and filled with love for all of you. Truly, we could not have done this without some pretty selfless, fantastic people.
A week ago James couldn't walk to the bathroom without a walker. 10 days ago he couldn't feed himself, brush his teeth, and even speaking was extremely difficult. Every day he gets stronger and works hard to regain his strength, and yesterday he got clearance from the transplant clinic to do the recumbent bike and walk on the treadmill. I am so proud of him and all his hard work and determination. He amazes me every day.
JAMES UPDATE:
Every day James seems to grow slowly stronger and his recovery is progressing. The debilitating tremors have all but subsided, which is fantastic. What a difference a mere week makes. We're not exactly sure if the meds they are giving him to counteract the anti-rejection medication have helped or if his body is starting to acclimate to the Prograf or a combination of the two.
He is eating fairly normally and we think we finally have a pain relief schedule figured out. That definitely helps his mobility and attitude in general.
We both have been extremely exhausted and haven't even left the condo since Thursday. Today we have a goal of leaving and doing some simple errands (get his mullet cut, maybe have lunch). They want him to take three 10 minute walks a day, but this Phoenix heat is no joke. We've managed one 15 minute walk at 10pm when it was only 93 degrees out. We both like the heat, but DANG Arizona ain't messin' around.
He loves to get phone calls and texts, so feel free to reach out.
Love and blessings to you all and as usual, thank you for your support and encouragement. #TeamFinley
All 139lbs of this guy are being RELEASED TODAY!!!! He's craving bratwurst and sauerkraut for dinner and a REAL shower!!! After being in the Mayo for the past 21 of 22 days, we are going to start our new normal. How weird is it that I'm slightly (a lot) emotional leaving all our friends and superb caregivers here...ok, I think of them as friends, technically they're nurses, PAs, PCAs, social workers, surgeons, and housekeepers. They've been our friends though this, laughed with us, cried with us, been our counselors and cheerleaders, and shared this terrifyingly incredible journey.
James is still in the hospital. While all indications are good regarding liver function, he has had a challenging few days with other issues. He's had a great deal of gas pain and bowels are not working well again. He had a couple of procedures to try to increase the blood flow to his liver this week. In addition he has developed tremors. These affect his ability to speak, use his hands and even walk. This has been frustrating for him and prevented him from being mobile the past few days. This has made for some long painful days. They started a new med yesterday to hopefully counteract them and by the evening his speech seemed improved. Hopefully they will help. In addition he is facing these new side affects without his amazing partner Jodi. She is on a much needed trip to Spokane to visit the girls and attend Josie's promotion from 6th grade. Despite the challenging few days the Mayo is talking release possibly today (June 2nd) or tomorrow. His sister is in Phoenix to take care of him for a few days. It is a daunting task to get him home but will be so great to be out of the hospital. He will need 24 hour care. It has made such a huge difference to this family to have the thoughts, prayers and gifts that have made this surgery possible. James needs all the help he can get still. Having a supportive text, call or boost can make a huge difference even if it just distracts him from the pain for a few minutes. Listening to him struggle through a call (due to his speech being so messed up he could barely get his words out) to his childhood friend Sean Cox really showed how great these interactions help his morale. All of these things make a difference and thank you to everyone for all you have done and are doing. Every bit of it helps. Please continue to keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.
Day 9 in the Mayo.
They talked about possibly discharging James today but they want him to remain on his IV meds one more day. He continues to feel better and stronger. He's slightly frustrated with the jittery feeling that the steroids give him, his hands shake and I can hear it in his voice. They assure us it's fine and will go away eventually.
He had a shower and a burger today and that is helping greatly to fortify him.
Despite spending the holiday weekend on 3West again, we had great moments of gratitude and joy. Our niece, nephew-in-law, great niece, and sister-in-law came out for a visit!!! We were so blessed to have them here. Unfortunately, it's not a heckuva lot of fun to hang out in a hospital but they were all great sports. James still has full patio privileges so they generously brought us dinner or lunch each day. Annnnnnnnnnd we got lots of time with our fabulous great niece, Finley!!!!!!
Mostly, it was so comforting for me to know that I wasn't alone in my love and concern for James and to have family so close.
Highs and lows, ups and downs.
Yesterday started out fairly terrifying and ended with good news. They couldn't see an artery on the back of the liver through ultrasound, but the liver levels were good. They talked about a possibility of opening him back up, worst case scenario re-transplant. Thankfully, they were able to do a CT scan and could see that the blood flow is normal.
Happy tears, lots of thanks.
They moved him to a normal room in the evening and things were looking good.
This morning labs showed that the liver functuons had gone down. Not good, not good at all.
So, they tried to do another U/S but that artery wouldn't cooperate again. Also, adding to his great discomfort and pain is the fact that his bowels haven't woken up yet. Basically, he needs to poop. He was up all night in a lot of pain and all the gas made a good reading on the U/S even more difficult.
The general thought now is to add an anti-rejection drug that he was unable to take previously because his kidney function was low. Kidney labs are good so we started Prograf this morning. They'll retest him tomorrow am to see if the Prograf is working and preventing his body from attacking the new liver. If they need to they will up his prednisone to help with the anti-rejection.
He walked 1/2 mile unassisted to aid with the bowels and now we wait. He's currently napping, little does he know that if he doesn't *ahem* do his thing, I'm gonna make him walk again.
Keep us in on your thoughts and prayers, or send healing vibes, or talk with the universe or whatever.
About 17 hours post transplant they had him up and walking. 23 hours after transplant, he graduated from the ICU. We had to say goodbye to our buddy and nurse, Ivan, but we're back with our good friends on 3W. One of our former nurses immediately came in to say hi and congratulate him.
The maroon pillow is a liver transplant badge of honor...or at least it is to us.
As per James style, he was cracking jokes with the nurses and occupational and physical therapists and they were amazed at his strength and endurance.
He has a new liver. I now know how people feel when they describe it as a lifesaving gift. Wow, wow, wow. The surgery took about 5 hours and the surgeon said he was sicker than he looked (knew it!) and that it went well. I'm with him now in the ICU and he's slowly becoming more aware. He's still intubated but they're hoping to get rid of that in a few hours.
His sodium went up so they're watching that and adjusting his meds accordingly.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers! They helped get us here!
Well friends and family, I guess we only needed a second chance!! We got the call for a replacement liver ar 5:45am. They asked us to be at the Mayo in an hour or so. Once we got here we were immediately roomed on the 7th floor and had an even better nurse (I don't know where the Mayo gets these nurses but they are the very best. Hands down.) We were orginally told surgery was scheduled for 2pm but they quickly bumped the it up to 12:15.
The surgeon told us they had one liver for him, and as their procurement team was headed out to harvest it, they unbelievably had a SECOND liver available that was better than the first.
The whole time we kept asking if it was his? Was this a for sure thing? The nurse looked at me said, "anything can happen but your chances are spectacular." I still wasn't convinced 100%.
I just heard from the transplant team that he is IN SURGERY and they have about an hour left to go as they connect the biliary system. (I don't even know if biliary system is the correct term, but I'm going with it.)
I should be back with him in the ICU in 2-3 hours!!! I imagine he'll be sleepy and most likely not fully awake until tomorrow.
We appreciate all the continued prayers and words of encouragement. We also want to remember to keep the donor and his or her family in our thoughts and prayers. What a gift, thank you is not enough.
James was discharged tonight from the Mayo. They think they have his adjusted his meds well enough and we're all hopeful his sodium levels maintain within the safe range. (Now, if we can get his blood pressure to behave and not drop drastically low.) I had to share our favorite Mayo nurse (maybe most favorite nurse ever?). Haren (like Karen but with an H) got James as a patient when the dry run was still fairly raw and we were in pretty low spirits. She had him for two full 12 hour shifts and her devotion to both James and me was remarkable. She was thorough and attentive and absolutely went above and beyond. James was in quite a bit of shoulder and neck pain and his middle of the night googling had him convinced it was cancer (isn't it always cancer?) She used to work on the physical therapy floor and she showed me some massage techniques that almost instantly relieved his pain. More importantly, she alleviated his fears and explained that his muscle wasting and ascites had caused his posture to change. Thus, the nearly excruciating pain. She also sent us home today with hugs and all this free swag. And she made us promise to come see her post transplant. You can bet on it, Haren.
Dry run.
That's what they call it when the organ you thought was going to be life-saving falls through.
The highest highs and now some pretty low lows, not the very lowest, but still low.
I waited to tell almost everyone, including posting here on fb because I didn't want to jinx it. I waited a full hour after they wheeled him away for surgery.
Thirty minutes later they were calling me back to recovery. My heart sank. I knew it...I just KNEW it. The dreaded dry run. I have heard of people being almost in preop, but never THIS far into it. I promise I was very ready to accept the dry run until they wheeled him away. Then, I turned my mind to the actual surgery and recovery and caregiving and all the postoperative stuff.
They brought me back to him and told me his sodium levels were too low to operate. And they were admitting him and blah, blah, blah. To be honest, I was (maybe still?) pissed. Mad that they hadn't done the labs sooner, pissed that there's nothing they can do to remedy the sodium levels quickly. Mad that I let my stupid hopes get up....
I'm still a little mad. That'll fade soon, I hope.
It was a perfect donor, perfect liver, perfect timing. For someone else.
In the mean time, we start again. We get his levels stable, we follow the team's directions and recommendations, and we wait. We will get that call again and we will go through it all again.
Hopefully the call is soon and it is the one meant for him.
Unfortunately the transplant will not happen tonight as James's sodium levels are too low.
At 7:49am we got the call that there was a possible liver available and to just stay close to the phone. They called one hour later and said be here in 45 minutes. We got to the Mayo, after much running around and freaking out on my part, in time to sit and wait for four hours while the procurement team flew to get the harvested liver. The only information we had was that James was first in line and that the donor was in good health. They finally got him back and started preop all without any firm commitment that the liver was viable or a match for James. Meanwhile, my mom, Dennis, and the girls were on their way back to the airport to catch a flight back to Spokane. We were texting back and forth, they wanted updates and we had no news. They decided to postpone their flight until this evening just in case the liver was his. They got back to hospital basically in time to meet part of his team and kiss him good luck. He maintained his sense of humor teasing his nurse about taking his underwear off (she did it for him -ha!) but was naturally a little anxious and overwhelmed. They wheeled him back at 4pm and surgery should last 4 to 6 hours. I will update as I can and appreciate all the calls, texts, messages and comments. I'll try to answer but forgive me if I don't right away.
Last week at this time, I was feeling pretty heartsick and low. I was missing my mama and my babies and James was in the Mayo for the third day. This morning I wake up with James beside me, my girls snuggled together in the next room, and my mom and Dennis just a few miles away. While I'm still missing my sister, sisters-in-law, grandma, and mother-in-law; this might be the best mother's day yet. I'm grateful to all who helped make this visit possible and brought so much joy to me and James.
He's back in action everybody!!!!! The pic on the left is this afternoon and the hospital pic is from this weekend. After over 45 blood draws, four days in intermediate care, countless meals at the Mayo cafeteria for me (bleh), and less than a dozen total hours of sleep (for James), they discharged him yesterday evening. He slept fairly well and was up and working by 8am. We are continually amazed and filled gratitude for the comments, texts, prayers, and phone calls of love and support we recieved. We were both comforted and uplifted, you all are the best.
As for the medical side, his sodium levels reached a point they were comfortable with but he remains on strict fluid restriction. We will follow up with cardiology, though they aren't overly concerned. His heart is working extra hard most likely due to his end stage liver failure. They only way to remedy that is a transplant. So, we wait longer for that life-saving phone call saying they have a match. #teamfinley #wecandohardthings
James has had a rough week. Not a lot of sleep, biliary pruritus (the bilirubin crystallizes and comes out through the skin causing extreme itching and burning), muscle cramping, and just generally feeling like crap. He's been cranky and irritable, too.
This morning he had his weekly labs and paracentesis. He called me mid-para to tell me the transplant coordinator called and his sodium levels were low. Dangerously low...so low that they needed to immediately admit him.
He's been admitted to the "intermediate level", meaning they'll do vitals every 15 minutes and draw blood to check his levels every 2 hours. His nurse is very kind but she is all business. I don't know if she's used to patients joking around. She'll get used to him because she's assured us he'll be here for a couple of days. They're slightly concerned about his elevated heart rate, so they're keeping him at the intermediate level until his sodium levels raise. Their plan is to stop his diuretics and severely restrict his water intake.
On his paracentesis days, I like to do an extra long walk around the campus on their nature trail which I did in pretty warm weather. That's only important because I haven't showered and I'm now covered copious amounts of sunscreen and dried sweat. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I look and smell atrocious. Hepatology was just here and assured me that he is definitely stable enough to shower back at the condo and grab our phone chargers.
Couple of side notes: yesterday during our liver support group we met a couple from Spokane. The husband had his 6 month post transplant visit and was actually the guy our hematologist in Spokane told us about when he was encouraging us to come down here. It was really inspiring and great to have their insight. There were a shocking number of similarities on his and James' stories and they bonded pretty quickly.
Also, the social worker had to leave group early to do an immediate evaluation on a patient who had been brought in by ambulance. We saw the social worker at the admitting desk and she told us the patient is only 23 with no prior diagnosis of liver disease. The MELD score is 45. FOURTY-FIVE!!!!! I told her I'd never even HEARD of a score that high and she said she hadn't either. She also said she just talked to the parents. I can only assume this kiddo literally has hours.
Thanks for the perspective, universe. Promise I'm paying attention.
Keep us in your prayers or send healing vibes or whatever it is you do. If you do that kind of thing.
Moments of gratitude (more as a written reminder for myself):
*On my walk this am, I saw a handpainted rock on the edge the trail that had "hope" written on it.
*The nurses, NP, phlebotomist, and nutritionist have all been very attentive and prompt
*The sun is shining
*Our condo is clean and close to the Mayo
Friday Update:
We've had a lot of requests for more regular updates and though this level of sharing is sort of out of my comfort level (and most certainly James's!), I'll do my best. Forgive the rambling, all the grammatical errors, and more rambling.
Monday afternoon, James was released from the Mayo Hospital and still felt very tired and weak. He spent the afternoon napping and Josie, Katie, and I hung out by the pool. That# evening James rallied enough to go out to dinner and ice cream. Though this was our only meal together as a family of four, we relished every second. Truthfully, as I looked at our girls sitting across from us at dinner, I had to fight back tears. Sometimes, it just feels a little unfair or maybe it was a pity party. As you all know from my post on Tuesday, saying goodbye was rough on us. However, reading all the supportive comments and receiving lots of loving texts and phone calls, I was feeling better.
Wednesday James felt good. Really good! He felt like eating (a rarity these days) and after working a full day, he even wanted to leave the condo in the evening. He was talkative and joking around. Yay!
Then after not sleeping much, he woke up Thursday feeling nauseous and tired. He worked all day, pausing only to go to our weekly liver transplant support group for an hour. After not eating all day, he finally felt up to a light dinner. I was very worried as this was exactly how he felt before he was hospitalized just six days before.
He slept well last night and woke up feeling better. We had an early morning blood draw at Mayo for lab work followed by an immediate paracentesis. So far, he has felt pretty good all day today - hooray!
We ended the day watching the Cavs lose (YES!) and then we got to facetime during our nephew's baseball game.
When we hung up we talked about how blessed we are despite this crappy situation. Truly. We could not do any of this without our family and the friends who have become family. We have neighbors and friends checking on our house, Cindy and Jeff taking the girls, the Ericsons being the Lou providers, and our family and other friends filling in the gaps before we can even ask.
We've also come to really value and look forward to the weekly support group. The people there are so encouraging and it is great to hear from people who have already been on this journey. Though sometimes their stories and experiences are shocking and hard to hear. There are many people who were literally hours from death when they finally received their life-saving liver donation. Some had complications that kept them hospitalized for months post-transplant, while others only had a three day stay after surgery. But they are all doing well and have a renewed outlook on life that is uplifting and gives us hope. We also get a chance to see the realities of life post-transplant and know that this will be an on-going battle. The medication management and risk of organ rejection are just the tip of the iceberg. However, we both feel confident with the care and support of the entire Mayo team that we will be successful with the post-transplant care. #teamfinley #andbyconfidentimeanscaredshitless #organdonationsaveslives
Just said goodbye to my babies and we don't know when we'll see them again.
For the second time.
In 15 days.
I wonder if this ever gets easier. I really don't share much about how hard all if this is on here because who really wants to be the Debbie Downer? But man....this is rough. I'm going to indulge in the hard sadness for a bit but then I'm going to go towards the gratitude and joy we had together. It wasn't ideal, but I still had my girls for a few days. We spent literal hours in the condo pool, went to the mall once, and had ice cream twice. None of it would've been possible if it weren't for the hard work and generosity of all of you.
A HUGE thank you to Cindy who came down with the girls and was at our beck and call the entire time they were here. She also spent hours just chatting and laughing with me, which is the best medicine. She is superb at meeting our needs before we could even ask.
Also, to Sarah and Erik for their extremely generous gift that came just as I thought I might break. And as always to my mom, Dorry and Scott, and Steve and Theresa, and Carla for always being just a call or text away and helping me get through the worry and fear.
Love you all!
Jodi
James and Jodi had the difficult task of saying goodbye to their girls again today. While their visit was shadowed by James's health crisis on Friday, they truly appreciated every minute together. James was released from the hospital Monday afternoon and is doing ok. He was back working today and did manage to get some rest Monday night. He tires very easily and of course the good-bye to the girls was very difficult for everyone in the family. They truly appreciate everyone that has helped make this visit possible and everyone that has shown their support in all ways. They are grateful to have the chance to get help in Phoenix and hope it will come soon.
It has been a difficult few days for James. The family was looking forward to a visit with the girls over the weekend. Unfortunately James ended up in the hospital on Friday with an upper GI bleed. He had a very rough night and Saturday had another endoscopy procedure. He is currently still in the hospital so he hasn't been able to visit with the girls much. While there is very little positive to the past day or so, his MELD score was raised. This is a good thing as it moves him up on the list but it means he is getting sicker. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers. They need all the support they can get now. Thank you everyone for your help.
James and Jodi are in Phoenix! They arrived on the 9th and are getting settled into their temporary housing. While the temperature is well into the 90s James is still cold. He is getting set up to work remotely as long as he can and they anxiously await a phone call moving him on to receiving a liver. It is a waiting game now. The girls are in Spokane staying busy with school. Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers and as always thank you for your support!!
It has been a very emotional, busy week for the Finley family. They are preparing to have James and Jodi leave Monday, April 9th to Phoenix. James continues to go to work everyday as Jodi and the girls are on Spring Break now and getting ready for their temporary lives ahead. The girls will remain in Spokane with a close, amazing friend who will help to keep their lives as close to normal as possible. James and Jodi have a place to live arranged and will be waiting anxiously for a call saying there is a liver available for him. His health continues to decline so the call hopefully will come soon. As he waits he plans to work remotely from Arizona. For now they are concerned with finding ways to hopefully have the girls come visit when the situation is manageable for all. Your thoughts, prayers and support are extremely appreciated and understanding of the overwhelming situation they are in right now as they prepare to leave Spokane. They are humbled by the support people have shown them. Thank you..... In addition tomorrow April 5th is James's 47th Birthday!
James was discharged from SHMC last night and enjoyed his first real meal (a burger!) since Sunday morning. His specialist may want to do a procedure that has it's benefits and risks, but we trust both transplant teams and have complete faith in their recommendations.
There are a million reasons why I feel so blessed to be married to James. One reason is he is the most dedicated human I've ever known. Proof of that? He's at work today and will continue to work until he cannot any longer. He works for an extremely caring and supportive company and they have reassured him he can have time off, but he refuses to do so until it becomes absolutely necessary. He's also that dedicated to the girls and me and most importantly, to his full recovery. I wish you all could see how hard he works to make every single doctor appointment, get his labs done whenever his transplant centers need them, take his meds at specific times, work 40+ hours a week, all while still managing to be a loving and involved daddy and husband. I read each and every share and comment and post in the Help Hope Live guestbook. Sometimes I read them over and over because they literally lift us up and give us strength. The words "thank you" do not even come close, and still I humbly thank you all.
James was released from Sacred Heart Hospital last evening. James and Jodi are relieved for the moment to be able to get back to work and the work of getting ready to move to Phoenix. Thank you everyone for your help!
In the words of Jodi Finley “Good morning everyone, James was admitted to Sacred Heart here in Spokane yesterday afternoon for an unexpected bleed. Right now he is having a paracentesis to remove some of the fluid that collects in his abdominal cavity, and that will hopefully make him a bit more comfortable. We've been assured that his hepatologist will stop by sometime today and let us know if he needs to have any further procedures done. Unfortunately as his liver failure continues to progress, these unforseen hospitalizations occur more frequently, and each time we incur more out of pocket hospital bills. It seems like we just get one hospital visit paid off and then he goes in again. So, once again, we are SO grateful for all your generous support during this tough time.
The girls (including Lou!) were with their best friends last night and I will pick up all three after school today. I think they are holding up well, so far but this is so hard on us all.
If you're local and want to drop in to visit James, send me a message. I think he likes the visitors.
Thank you all again, we couldn't do the hard stuff without all of you!!”
So, as you can see, every little bit helps. They so appreciate each and every person who donates and sends well wishes. Thank you for supporting the Finley family.
Jodi Finley is with James Finley.
"Sometimes miracles are just good people with kind hearts."
First of all, we are so grateful and filled with love by all your support and encouraging words. This will help us fund two households and ease some of the burden of the mounting medical costs. We are close to the needed amount and humbly ask for your continued help. This is a terrifying and anxiety filled time for us all, especially for our girls (and their mama). We love you all. Thank you so much. #likeandshare
Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out with words of encouragement, support and prayers. It means so much to the family and are appreciated more than you could possibly imagine. Arrangements continue to be made for James and Jodi's move so the financial help is invaluable. Please know the processing and reflecting of donations is not instant on this site and can take several days to reflect. Thank you!!
March 19, 2018 James and Jodi are working on getting the temporary move to Phoenix going asap. As of right now they are hoping to be down there and waiting for a call by early April. He is hoping to keep working remotely as long as his health allows him to.
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Wow, you look great James! Keep up the excellent work. I\'m so looking forward to getting to see you and Jodi on Friday
Tina
Wahoooooo!!!!!!! GREAT picture of you Fin! So glad to hear you are getting released! You look great and what an amazing journey! Thanks for sharing all the details :):)
Mo Castro
Following your story on Dorry's page and wishing all the strength, love and support needed for a full recovery.
Allison Yocum
To James and his family. To Dorry and her support. We are sending our positive thoughts and prayers. (I am Scott's cousin.)
Betti Fujikado
Know that you are all so loved! Forever in our prayers! XOXO
Mary Kay and George Jovanovich
I have chills reading this!!! Thank you for the update! So many of James\' friends and co-workers (and former) are cheering! THRILLED over here in Spokane!!!!!
Mo Castro
Oh Jodi. Thank you again for your updates. I find them to be very well written, heart-felt and down-to-earth. Your strength and personality shine through! I know I have told you this so many times, but our family is so blessed and fortunate to not only have James, but YOU as an added bonus! Even though James has gotten so thin, I am still struck by how absolutely handsome my little brother is. And you are gorgeous in every way.. You are both an inspiration to me, Beth and Nick, and we are right there with you in mind and spirit, albeit not in person. Let me know if there are any things you need done, or are in need of more immediate cash. Love and hugs to your precious family.
Tina Finley Jones
Love you guys so much!!
Thinking of you and praying for you
Stacy White
Thank you for the update! I check this every day to see how James and the family is doing. Praying praying praying!!!
Mo Castro
Each and every day I pray for the miracle of a new liver for James. I also pray for peace for all, especially Jodi and my 2 little GREAT nieces! Stay strong and hopeful! I love you tons and tons! - Aunt Patsy
Patsy Guglielmino
Love YOU all, mean it.
Sarah Dunn
i\'m so sorry to hear this. i wish this life was easier. loads and loads of love prayers and hugs for you all
cindy kromholtz
Praying for James and your Family.
William Lonam
Stay strong and love on those two beautiful little girls. Sending so many thought and good vibes!
Love,
Roxy, Max, & Mila Bowie
Roxanne White
I will keep you in my prayers. As Kate Gentry\'s grandmother, it is my pleasure to donate a bit, and I pray that your new liver arrives soon, and that the transplant is successful. May God bless each of you.
Eleanor Lowder
Praying for you, Finley fam!
Kate Gentry
Get better soon James! We’re praying for you!
Daniel Waterbly
praying for a great outcome with your health James. i\'m talking with your mom and that has been nice for me. my arms are wrapped around your family with hope. love, prayers and hugs
cindy kromholtz
James, I hope you are settled and are able to rest. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers. Here\'s to a quick and smooth transplant. And if Lou needs anything, we\'re on it! Love you guys!
Brianne (The Brew)
hello, just want to let you know that i\'m praying for you all. i\'ve talked with your mom and she seems pretty good. i\'m glad your move is almost here and you can get that over with. i pray God\'s arms are holding you tight. love and hugs to you all
cindy kromholtz
Happy belated birthday James!
Cousin Sherry
Love you guys. Hope this helps and prayers your way too.
Sherry Finley
James...when are you leaving for AZ? I am so happy you have been accepted into the donor program, and hope
It happens soon. We\'re sending prayers and a contribution. Your cousin
Cynthia Orr
I\'m lucky to know your sister and have heard all about you and your family. Many prayers and loving thoughts your way! ♥️
Tammy
Dear James and family,
Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We are all waiting for great news!
God Bless you and your family. Pete & Denise Stanton, and Taylor Campbell
Denise Stanton
James- I just found out about how quickly your illness has progressed. I am praying that the doctors find a transplant for you. I am praying for you and your family during this trying time. I miss seeing you at work. Take care.
Laurie Robinson
Jodi and family, I adore your amazing sense of humor, wit, strength, and positivity, even in the midst of this crisis. Hang in there! I know your miracle will come!
Love you so much,
Joy
Joy Evans
Hoping for the best, trust in the Lord.
Yvette Garcia
Come on James, you are a strong man!!!
We have a lot of cars chat to do when I\'ll come to the US.
Love from Italy.
Matteo Bortolotti
It’s not much but I hope it helps!
Melissa Stott
Wishing you and your beautiful family the best. Get well.
Ricki Brueher
Sending good thoughts and healing prayers your way. Take care!
Kristi Schurra
Hello. You’ve never met me and you probably don’t know me, but I’ve seeing how much your nephew is worried and cares about you. I can only do so little, but I hope this helps at all. I hope you the best and am thinking of you and your family everyday during this difficult time.
Anonymous
God Bless!
Alana Kasner
James, praying for you lots buddy and sending positive healing vibes your way. Keep fighting, you\'ve got this.
Jillian Weisbarth
I am praying for or you and your family. May God shower you with many blessings, a new kidney and total healing.
Kay Keyser
Jen and Buck are thinking of you all.
Buck Johnson
I'm hoping and praying for the best possible outcome as your beautiful family faces this struggle.
David Sproul
We are thinking of you guys and sending you many hugs and prayers.
Brian & Angela Wolverton
James,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Steve & Cindy
George Finley
James, Jodi and Family, We are sending you love and support now and always - you are all such an inspiration - Best wishes and we know all will be well with you soon. Love, Bakers
Nancy Baker
From John and Sam! Pulling for you.
John DesCa,[
FIN!!!!!!! You have the love, support and prayers of so many people! God is bigger than any disease and I\'ll pray that you get the transplant you need and can bound back as cantankerous as ever before! Your will to overcome this is half the battle that you have already won. Praying for all the other pieces to fall into place. Please don\'t hesitate to reach out for ANYTHING.......I can help with your girls if they just need a day out while you and your wife are away in AZ.
Castro \"MO\"
Miracles. Miracles happen. Believe in miracles and see yourself healthy and living a full life again. We\'re praying for you. I\'m praying for you in each breath as it goes and comes. God speed to wellness James. You are loved. ❤️
Aunt Karen
Praying for your family from cda, ID.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
Christina Goold
We love the Nakamura family and know how important Dorry’s family is to them. I’ve heard a lot about this brother of hers and his special family for years. We are praying for you all.
Tracie Willis
James, your sister Dorry is a dear friend. I have been praying and will continue to pray for healing, comfort and peace for you. Have faith. You have people you don’t even know pulling for you....Kim Hand
Kim Hand
James, You are a fighter and an amazing human. Nothing but positive thoughts my friend.
Brooke Gill
James you got this man. Only good thoughts my friend
Derek Morikawa
I have seen families go through this and the outcome has always been positive in my experiences as an RN. Wishing you all the very best.
Wendy Pettis
Love you guys.
Lynann Taylor
Take one day at a time! We are praying for you and your family! ❤️
Chuck & Jackie Wotipka
Hoping for the very best for your family.
Iris Gardner
Hi Finleys!!
Let us know if you need any help with the house or the girls while you are away! We are here if you need ANYTHING!! We love you guys!
Love,
The Nelsons
Richae Nelson
Sorry to hear you’re going through this James. I know lots of people in Phoenix and I travel for work there each and every month. Please let me know if I can transport anything back and forth for you. 509-216-0736
Mary Payne
Love you guys. Let us know if there is anything we can do <3
Nichole Peters
Bless this sweet family! We love you all and want complete healing for James.
janine fraser
Thinking about you all and sending positive wishes full of love and strength!
Cory Risse
We are so sorry to hear about this, James. We are sending thoughts and prayers your way. Stay strong.
Kevin and Pam Kromholtz
Tina has been keeping updated on your situation and we want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. With our love,
Greg & Susan
Greg Kromholtz
1. be sure to leverage organizations like make A Wish for financial support of travel for family members. 2. be sure to contact major airline carriers for travel discounts for the family members as well (they have programs fro kids etc to travel when parents are going through this kind of crisis 3. a message to all: it's an easy thing to sign up to be an organ donor. do it. this crisis is proof enough that it matters. just. do. it.
dave espinosa-aguilar
My Prayers and Thoughts are with you James. This is just another step in the journey to getting better my friend! JT
Jared Teel
Thinking of you and holding you in our prayers. Wishing you peace and comfort.
elizabeth matias
hello, please know you all have been and will continue to be in my prayers. when your back and feeling up to it maybe we could have some sort of a gathering so we can all give you hugs. love and blessing to you
cindy kromholtz
I might arrive on a banana seat bike. Not sure if I\'m the cop or the robber yet though. I do know I won\'t have toothpaste on my eyebrows or have to run around the block in my underwear because of that stupid hungry hungry hippo game!
Thinking of you and your family.
Kristen Carman
I know you will keep pushing and see this through like you have for nearly 10 years so far. You are getting close to the summit. We are all behind you.
Steve Finley
James,
The Coxes are rallying and Kristen will be stopping by with our passed-hat contribution. She won\'t arrive on her bike with the banana seat but know that a pew full of praying people are on the tandem bike with you!
Much love,
All of the Coxes
Marci Cox Miess
James, I wish I was in a position to help you. My heart and prayers will be with you along your journey.
Tracy Owen
Dear James,
It's been about 30 years since we last saw each other, but we attended Saint Xavier and Prep together. I was so sorry to learn that you are sick and in need of a transplant. I hope this gift will help you reach your goal and support you in your journey to Phoenix and in your recovery.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Patilynn Goodell (Whitmore)
Patilynn Goodell
James, praying for you and your family during this tough time. Keep fighting
Wes Stumbaugh
James,
Some of my best childhood memories are of hanging with you! You were always confident, full of life and up for anything! I am sorry you and your family are going through this! You will be in my thoughts and I am praying for the best for you!
Your friend,
David Owens
David Owens
James
I am very heart broken when I heard the news. Who’d thought that it would happened to the nicest person in whole wide the world. We’ve known each other since we were kids. Your family has helped us so much in so many ways. I will always keep you as your family in my daily prayers my awesome friend.
Thi Mai
Thi Nai
Jode, we are sending you, James, and the girls all our love and strength. We are so sorry you guys are going through this. Love you so much. Andrea and Family.
Andrea Blanco
Best wishes to you and your beautiful family. Will keep you in my thoughts. Simonetta
Simonetta Leveque
James, we are praying for you.
Love, Tim and Cindy
Tim Kromholtz
I am so sorry this is happening. I just saw cousin Mark Saturday and he told me about this. I wish I could help with more. My thoughts will be with you.
linda lewis
James and family, You are in our prayers.
Love,
Karen, Steve, Olivia, Xanthe, John and Yvette Kraft
Karen Kraft
Love you guys
Kiki Jensen
James I’m so sorry to hear about your battle. I hope you can get a new liver soon. Best wishes to you and your family. I have fond memories of our neighborhood family play times together.
Cristina Leveque
Prayers for a speedy recovery from my family to yours. X.
Jackie Sinn
Wishing you all the best and praying for your healing.
Michael Beauchamp
I love you!
Katrina Finley
Hi James,
It’s been a long time, brother! Just want you to know that we’re thinking of you and your family right now and doing whatever we can to help.
Michael Beauchamp & Family
Dear James and Family,
We are sending buckets of love, holding you and your family in healing light, knowing that all is well. Hope our small gift makes a difference. Much love, your cousin Teresa and her wife, Kim.
Teresa Aguilar and Kim Walker
Hang in there James! Praying for you and the family! You got this!
Mike Davis
You all are in my thoughts and prayers!!!
Kelly Stapleton
❤️
Liv Stecker
My brother James is simply the best thing that has ever happened to our family. He is kind, generous to a fault, an amazing father and husband, easy-going, smart, super hard-worker, loving and a ton of fun, just to name a few attributes. He has given us so much joy, laughter and pride in watching him grow up from an adorable little boy to the accomplished man he is today. Please join us in helping him to have a second chance at life in continuing to provide for and love on his sweet, exceptional girls: Jodi, Josie and Katie. James, you are truly special and admired by so many family and friends. Love you Hummer! Keep on rockin’ It little bro!
Christina Jones
I wish your Family healing thoughts during this challenging time.
Amy Barley
Love you so much!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Brent and Carrie Beardslee
We love you all, and you have our full support through out this journey.❤
Seth and Jenny Young
Make checks payable to:
Help Hope Live
Note in memo:
In honor of James Finley
Mail to:
Help Hope Live
2 Radnor Corporate Center
Suite 100
100 Matsonford Road
Radnor, PA 19087
Donor preference is important to us. Please specify in writing if you wish for your name or donation amount to be kept private.
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