In 2015 my cough and shortness of breath started. I was a healthy 30-year-old enjoying the dream life with my husband Gary, and two daughters Natalie and Danielle. I was working as a Registered Nurse at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Eureka.
All my breathing problems started one evening after being exposed to glade plug-ins. I had a horrible coughing fit and became short of breath in the days following. My husband insisted that I see the doctor. (Going to the doctor is hard for me as I probably have a bit of white coat syndrome. I’m a great advocate for my patients but when it comes to myself, I become hesitant). They gave me an inhaler and a breathing test was ordered. The results showed moderate lung restriction and the report indicated I had “poor effort.” I have had a history of seasonal allergies but have never smoked or done anything else to compromise my lung health. After seeing more family doctors, allergy/asthma specialists, and a pulmonologist I was diagnosed with asthma. I felt defeated as none of the doctors took my complaints seriously. The pulmonologist, whom I worked with at the hospital, was dismissive of my symptoms. When I went to visit him as a patient, he downplayed my concerns and told me that when he sees me at work, I “look okay.”
Fast forward to 2018- I was still short of breath, but with an asthma diagnosis, Gary and I decided it was safe to have our third baby (Maddie). After I returned from maternity leave, my breathing was increasingly difficult. I was barely able to walk up the stairs and anything scented could easily throw me into a coughing fit. Tasks that I could do before were nearly impossible, but I kept pushing because my doctors continued to tell me it was asthma. I thought maybe I was exaggerating the severity of my symptoms or worse, that maybe they were just in my head altogether!
There were many nights after work that I would cry myself to sleep. I was even starting to resent work because it was becoming impossible to fulfill my duties as a nurse. My frequent coughing fits and shortness of breath were a source of embarrassment. Some of my patients would worry about me as I would often go into coughing attacks while in their rooms. One day I tried to pass a lunch tray and I was physically unable; it was then I knew that I needed help. I broke down to my asthma doctor and he finally agreed to give me a CT scan.
The CT scan showed UIP, which is a pattern of lung fibrosis with an average survival rate of 3-5 years. After this, (thanks to my sister’s and husband’s persistence) I asked to be referred to UCSF. In January of 2020, I went to UCSF and have been in competent hands ever since. During my first visit, I was prescribed supplemental oxygen and immunosuppressants. Blood tests came back positive for RNA polymerase III autoantibodies (scleroderma) and a huge weight was lifted off me. Even though I now had this relentless disease- my struggles were validated, they were not in my head, and we had something to treat.
My pulmonary fibrosis is caused by undifferentiated connective tissue autoimmune disease. Basically, this is a rapidly progressive form of lung fibrosis. Since diagnosis I have done everything to keep my lungs and body healthy, yet the disease has proven difficult and continues to progress rapidly.
Last month an exacerbation left me hospitalized twice. Since then, tasks as simple as raising my arms overhead are difficult. The other day, my three-year-old daughter Maddie said, “Mama, I don’t want you to go to the hostable (hospital) no more.” I had to explain to her that an Angel is going to give mommy lungs and I’ll have to go back to the hospital to get those lungs someday. I pray for my family’s sake that there is in fact an Angel out there for me who will so selflessly give me that second chance at life. I have so much still to do, and I want nothing more than to be there for my 3 daughters as they continue to grow.
Raising Funds(How Can You Help?):
A double lung transplant is expensive. In addition, my family and I are facing significant pre-op, post-op, and lifelong medical treatment costs. We also have travel expenses to consider (we live 5 hours away from UCSF), and we will be in need of full-time childcare. Because everything adds up so quickly, the transplant team at UCSF recommends crowdfunding to raise funds. We have chosen the non-profit Help Hope Live to process any donations.
My family and I have chosen to fundraise through Help Hope Live in part because Help Hope Live assures fiscal accountability of funds raised and tax deductibility for contributors. Contributors can be sure donations will be used to pay or reimburse medical and related expenses. To make a tax-deductible donation to this fundraising campaign, click on the Give button. And please share my page with your community.
(https://helphopelive.org/campaign/19049/ )]
A note from Pamela’s sister: I want everyone to know what kind of person they are supporting, and there is not a more worthy and gentle hearted person in the world. My sister is very hardworking. She worked herself through nursing school while maintaining nearly a 4.0 GPA, and still made sure to be there every moment she could with her children. And when I say every moment, I mean it. Through the years, I would often ask my sister out to dinner or to do something special, and she would show up with her children every time. She didn’t want to leave their sides for one unnecessary moment. She is truly the most loving mother I have ever seen. Pamela has dedicated her entire life to being a mother and helping people. As a nurse, she would often tell me stories of patients’ appreciation. They would hug and thank her, and tell her she was the best nurse they ever had. She would receive thank you cards, flowers and gifts from so many of her patients who knew she went above and beyond to care for their family members. This is not a surprise to me, as I knew she was made to be a nurse. She is kind hearted and truly cares about people and has been this way our whole lives. As a sister, I can honestly say she has never done one mean thing to me, or anyone else in her whole life. She is the definition of a sweetheart. If you know Pam, you know this is true. We thank you deeply for your support.
For more information, please contact Help Hope Live at 800.642.8399 or visit their website https://helphopelive.org
