There is no harder moment in life then when you are dependent on others to help you at your most vulnerable state. A person that has been relied upon and has been blessed to be self reliant I have met a crossroads where I can no longer deny the fact that my illness has caught up with me. This I do not say lightly as it has taken me quite some time to come to terms with this.

I would like to take a few moments to explain that I have liver cirrhosis due to no fault of my own. I do not say this because I feel a need to put anyone else with such a horrible diagnosis beneath me in any way because I truly believe that no one willingly asks for such a thing to happen to them but my situation is quite a unique one. I was born with a perfect liver which was compromised by a rare auto immune disease called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis or in shorter terms PSC. This ugly condition has followed me as far back as the age of 13, from my earliest recollection, but may have been affecting me quietly since before then. I was officially diagnosed at the age of 21 and undiagnosed again at the age of 29. The doctor was convinced that, as a mother of 3, there was no way I could have PSC. I continued living my life normally, raising my beautiful children, until the age of 37. Just as I acquired my Bachelors Degree and began to finally pursue a career my life hit rock bottom and I was crushed. My long awaited accomplishment short lived by the diagnosis of end stage liver cirrhosis. The tests revealed that my exterior did a great job at masking the utter disaster of what I was living with inside and ever since then I have been inundated with frequent doctors appointments, tests, and hospitalizations. I am currently living with constant muscle pain, bouts of relentless itch, jaundice eyes and skin, edema, portal vein thrombosis, portal hypertension, hormonal imbalance, brittle bones and brain fog. I’m at greater risk of cancer and hemorrhage.

I did the best I could to prolong transplant as long as I could but my time has come. It took quite some time but I am finally actively listed on the transplant list. It wasn’t an easy journey but I am grateful I made it and pray that, although my illness continues to progress, I can finally make it to a healthy life once again. I have always lived for my family and will fight as long as I can. At any point in time I will get that phone call and I need to be prepared to drop everything to receive my new organ. Then after transplant I must be prepared to stay near the hospital for a minimum of at least 30 days, god willing, with no complications. This means I will need to fund my permanent residence as well as temporary residence for an entire month along with expenses such as fuel, food and tolls.